There are habits that have become dear and there are simply habits. It’s not absolutely clear whether the former or the latter applies to the annual sending of well-intentioned Christmas wishes. What can be said, however, is that there should be companies where thinking out the Christmas mailing is as important as preparing and carrying out at least one corporate merger. Funnily enough.
“And another thing – the next Christmas card is coming up. Perhaps this time it could be… a little bit smarter?”
Dr. Wolff, the founder and main shareholder of the international freight company Columbus AG, flicks last year’s Christmas card across the meeting table with a contemptuous gesture of his wrist.
It flies in an elegant arc and comes to a stop in front of Nimmerstett. Dr. Wolff glances at him. “When will we see the first designs, Nimmerstett?” Nimmerstett gulps – after all, it’s only February, and doing the last Christmas mailing is still gripping him to the marrow. Its consequences: the wearing out of a marketing manager and three trainees from the communications department, an assistant’s burnout, a kicked-in office door, a special meeting of the works council and two and a half own nervous breakdowns.
The result:
handmade paper in velvet red (Pantone 18-1935), and on the front the headline ‘Merry Christmas’ in gold letters (Rabitta Calligraphy Font, 12 point). Inside, the Columbus logo with the slogan: “When we’re on the road it’s always Christmas” (which Nimmerstett actually found very smart for a freight company). Plus plenty of space for a personal message which, however, was regularly used by mid-tier management for an extravagant signature intended to characterise its creator as especially strong and dynamic.
Well, anyways …
Nimmerstett is well aware that Dr. Wolff makes the Christmas mailing an annual topic for the Executive Board. After all, it’s seen by his Rotary friends and their wives, as well as his own wife, and she’s generally regarded as the secret creative director of Columbus (or alternatively chief interior designer or head art curator).
A week later.
Large ‘London’ conference room. 24 representatives from marketing, corporate strategy, public relations, investor relations, market research, compliance and the canteen have accepted Nimmerstett’s invitation with the title of “Christmas is looming”. Just to be on the safe side, Legal is also present.
Nimmerstett starts the session with a 45-minute recap of the making of last year’s Christmas greeting. He closes with the words: “This year’s motto is: ‘Smart’!
Silence in the room. A slow sigh, along with concerned clearings of the throat, a biro falling to the floor. The sensitive hipster from the marketing department slips quietly off his chair, and despite his tattoos he has a problem with his nerves. “Let me now come to the requirements!” Nimmerstett starts his PowerPoint presentation created by the in-house graphics department in the last two days (and nights). Title slide: Merry Christmas – February 2025. With the mien of a general he then goes through the 31 requirements that the Christmas mailing has to fulfil which were drawn up by a specially convened commission of strategy and market research experts, and tested by a focus group for practicability and causality from A for A/B testing to Z for zip code.
This also included the obvious such as internationality, consideration of cultural circumstances, visualisation of all holding companies and the use of the Rabitta Calligraphy font, known as the favourite font of Dr. Wolff’s wife. The strategy department also drew up a paper as an impetus that looks at the term ‘smart’ from a cultural, social and psychological perspective and examines its effect on major shareholders and board members’ wives. Nimmerstett goes through this quickly as well and concludes his presentation after an hour and a half with a reference to the next meeting in a week’s time, at which initial proposals are to be made.
The session ends with the hipster from marketing saying he can’t attend the next meeting because he has to redeem his voucher for the mindfulness seminar his girlfriend gave him.
Four months later.
Large ‘Tokio’ conference room. 25 representatives from marketing, corporate strategy, public relations, investor relations, market research, compliance and the canteen – Legal is still smoking – listen to Nimmerstett’s PowerPoint presentation in which he reviews the 114 drafts of the past weeks. He also explains why they’re no good. The hipster from marketing has apologised – his ex-girlfriend needs help moving.
He’s represented by two interns (with tattoos). “Ladies and gentlemen, what we need is more out-of-the-box thinking based on our brand values!” Nimmerstett tries to motivate the panel to new heights. “A twinkle in the eye, a big idea, a… a roar of smartness!” As a precaution, he proffers no reply to the question of whether Christmas could simply be cancelled this year.
A further four months later.
Large ‘New York’ conference room. Four representatives from corporate strategy, public relations and the canteen are at their wits end. The rest are assumed lost. Especially the tattooed ones from marketing. After a few tantrums and threats, the last agreement round with Dr. Wolff finally has achieved a positive result. Unfortunately though, only until his wife takes a look at the proposals.
(“I wouldn’t be seen dead with that” / “what’s that supposed to be” / “that looks awful” / “I don’t like it” / “I don’t like it at all”) – not particularly helpful in terms of motivation. As a result, the union records record membership figures.
A month later.
Much too small ‘Ulm’ conference room. 47 representatives from marketing, corporate strategy, public relations, investor relations, market research, compliance, the canteen and the entire legal department celebrate the new Christmas mailing that has just been approved, toasting it with prosecco from the customer fridge (the canteen’s participation in the development work was worth it after all). The hipster from marketing has secured a seat next to Nimmerstett and is very excited. After the fourth prosecco he slips quietly from his chair – he has a bit of a circulatory problem. Also present are two interns from the accounts department who accidentally wandered into the wrong meeting, and Mrs. Brand is also present.
Mrs. Brand has been Dr. Wolff’s personal assistant for several years and she knows exactly what makes the old man tick, and particularly his wife. She attended the last voting meeting because someone had to quickly clear away the broken vase that fell victim to another Wolff tantrum.
She took the opportunity to take a look at the proposals on the table, and with the airiness of a member of the executive management she interjected:
“Why don’t we use handmade paper in velvet red (Pantone 18-1935), and on the front ‘Merry Christmas’ in gold letters (Rabitta Calligraphy Font, 12 point)? With the Columbus logo inside and plenty of space for a personal message?”
Dr. Wolff listened, leaned back and nodded approvingly at Mrs. Brand: “Nimmerstett, do you hear that? Now that’s something!” Nimmerstett was electrified. Finally, a breakthrough. At last. Countless overtime hours, nerve-wracking discussions, three resignations, one brawl and increased medication to combat his high blood pressure paid off. He immediately picked up the thread and rejoiced: “And below the logo we can write: When we’re on the road we’re heading for a smart Christmas!”
Until the next Espresso!
Sincerely,
